‘I’m a good person and I can do this’
Published March 25, 2024
Greg DeCurtis is proud of himself. He’s living a decent life without chaos. He’s enjoying responsibility. He’s making his appointments and getting up early. He feels like he finally has good things to talk about.
“I had nobody three years ago but my meth pipe and my lighter. I’ve yelled to God, I’ve cried, I’ve worked hard to build credibility,” he said. “I could’ve never done this by myself; I needed somebody to show me the way.”
Greg’s peer coach, Terri, has been that somebody.
“Terri is teaching me to keep moving forward, not getting hung up on things, how to pace myself, she’s showing me that it can be done – it’s something I never had before,” he said.
In their year of coaching, Greg has come to think of Terri as a “unicorn monk.”
“Terri is a visible spirit,” he said. “She’s so connected to her higher power, she’s so centered in that part of her life. When she makes her mind up, she does it. It’s like a super human ability, I’ve never seen anyone like this before.”
When she first heard the unicorn monk visual, Terri had no idea such a thing even existed.
“I went online and searched ‘unicorn monk’ and all this stuff popped up. We got this great laugh,” she said. “I got a sticker that’s a unicorn sitting in the meditation pose, it’s got the monk robe on. I sent him one too.”
Terri has seen the results of all of Greg’s work firsthand, both in his Recovery Capital Index scores and in the way he’s approaching challenges.
“He’s a good man and a good soul,” she said. “He’s just trying to be the best he can be… He’s built a lot of character and integrity. He’s a standup guy and he shows up every day.”
Drugs as an escape
Greg grew up on the East Coast, where he played sports and had lots of friends and things to do. He started experimenting with alcohol and other drugs as a teenager.
“When my folks started having problems, that’s kind of when my childhood dissipated,” he said. “I’d say 16, 17 is when my childhood went away. They were fighting; I used drugs as an escape.”
After living in Sioux Falls, SD for a few years with his grandparents, Greg moved back to North Carolina. He wanted to prove to himself he could go back home.
“Immediately I didn’t take life seriously at all. I just took off with a torch and used drugs and destroyed,” he said. “I just totally threw that part of my life away.”
Throughout his journey, Greg went to treatment multiple times. He had few “good years” in his early 20s – he got a job, started running and wasn’t feeling the pain and terror of addiction.
“It was amazing how much I could do if I applied myself 40% and stopped doing drugs,” he said.
To cope with the stress of a promotion and all its responsibilities, Greg started taking benzodiazepines.
“I wasn’t ready for it,” he said. “I manipulated my doctor for benzos and took them to keep up with the job.”
A few years later, Greg was bitten by a venomous rattlesnake, which introduced him to the world of painkillers. He got prescriptions as long as he could, and then he went to heroin. He eventually tried a 22-month treatment program, which worked for a while.
“Then I had dental surgery and once again, here come the painkillers,” he said. “After those glory years of living in the mountains, my family coming back together, I’m happy, I got a good girlfriend – that surgery started me down the wrong path again.”
The years that followed included more arrests, a brief stay in federal custody and broken relationships with his family. Greg decided to move back to South Dakota in 2015.
“I started doing exactly what I was doing,” he said. “I left North Carolina thinking I’d quit heroin, and I did, but I ran into meth.”
In Sioux Falls, Greg was arrested again and ended up homeless. He tried treatment again, but he was barely hanging on by a thread and had nowhere to go. He says he has PTSD from moments in that time of his life.
March 4, 2022, his last day of meth use, was the turning point. Greg was arrested and spent about four months in jail.
“It was the best thing that ever happened to me,” he said. “In my mind, this was God giving me time to get my life together. I started reading my Bible and made a routine.”
In the months leading up to his arrest, Greg had been thinking he needed a break from Sioux Falls. Jail ended up being that break.
“In all honesty, I wanted a different life. I had enough and I was willing to give it a conscious effort,” he said. “I connected with my higher power and truly realized that there’s something way more powerful out there, calling the shots.”
It was Greg’s probation officer who recommended Face It TOGETHER.
“I met Terri and we immediately clicked. I’ve seen her almost every week for a year,” he said. “It’s been a year for me to trust someone again. It’s just nice to have someone who doesn’t judge you, who understands you, more importantly to see the product of the work.”
Greg wants what Terri has: more than 26 years of wellness.
“It gives me something to look forward to,” he said. “She loves her life, she loves her pets, she loves her home – I want that.”
Going home
Last August, Greg went home to see his family for the first time in years. He got to connect with his niece and nephew and enjoy his mom’s cooking – and his parents and brother got to see the changes in his life firsthand.
“It was amazing. My mom was hiding her purse at first, because I used to steal from her,” he said. “But they could tell, I was calm, I kept my appointments with Terri while I was there. It blew my family’s mind on how much I’ve changed. I felt so free – I got my family back.”
Going back to North Carolina was an opportunity for Greg to reflect on his journey.
“All my closest friends back in North Carolina – more people than I can remember – are dead. If I stayed in North Carolina, I’d be a tombstone right now,” he said. “I was fortunate to make it to 40 to see what I want out of life.”
In the face of all of Greg’s struggles, he’s learned to be patient and put the work in.
“I’m swimming across the ocean, but I’m getting there. I have Terri as my guide,” he said. “I’m a good person and I can do this.”
Imperfectly perfect is a philosophy Terri follows in her own life and in her work with members. She said she’s helped Greg forgive himself for mistakes and focus on doing his best each day.
“Your best today won’t be your best tomorrow. We all have flaws; nothing’s perfect. We spend an awful lot of time and energy and developing anxiety to be perfect and that’s not what we’re meant to do,” she said. “We’re meant to life our lives and do the best we can.”
Greg knows he can’t set a deadline for his wellness – he’s going to keep moving forward and let things happen when they happen.
“I haven’t been perfect in the last year, but that’s not what this is about. Terri’s shown me that’s OK,” he said. “There’s nothing else you can do if you fall, you get back up.”